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Monday, January 11, 2010

BOYS WILL BE BOYS..










 







 










 





 







 



 

T-SHIRTS QUOTES





 



 



 



 




 



 



 


AT LAST MY FAVORITE 1 











 

HOW TO SOLVE A CUBE

THE MYSTERY HAS BEEEN REVEALED.. CHECK OUT HOW TO SOLVE A CUBE..

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FOR IT PPL..(FUNNY PICS)


window (story)





 


 




 




 

TINTU MON Jokes


Teacher: Name the liquid which changes to solid when heated
Tintumon: Dosa


Bus Cunductor: Why are you standing near the door, is your father a watchman?
Tintu Mon: Why are you always asking for “Change”, Is your father a Beggar ??



A professor to tintumon: “what is attention deficit hyperactive disorder?”
tintumon: “JAMBALAKDI PAMBA”
professor: “i dont understand anything”
tintumon: “same 2 you”


Tintumon: Im sleep with dad last night
Teacher corrects him: no..no..I slept with dad last night
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Tintumon: so.. you came after I slept..?



Father to Tintumon: Why can't you not think every woman as your mother?
Tintumon: I can, but if i did so, what will people think of you?



To be is to do(Socrates)
To do is to be(Plato)
To be or not to be(Shakespeare)
Scoo be do be dooo(Tintu mon, LKG)……..



Teacher : What is “Al2 O3″ ?
Ramu : Alumina.
Teacher: Tintu, What is ‘Fe2 O3″?
Tintumon : “Filomina”



Teacher :What is the name of Gandhiji’s son?
Tintumon: Dineshan
Teacher :Why?????
Tintumon : Mahatma Gandhi is the father of di-neshan

Aisi apni Wife ho.......... .........

Aisi apni Wife ho.......... .........


5'5" jiski height ho,
Chehra jiska bright ho,

Weight mein thori light Ho,
Umer mein difference slight ho,

Thori see wo quiet ho,
Tu memorable her ek night ho~

Aisi apni Wife ho.......... ........

Saas ki khidmat jiski khwahish ho
Beauty multiply by Twice ho,
mom dad ki choice ho,

Aisi apni Wife ho.......... ........

Padosi jab baat kare tu,
haath me uskay knife ho.
Dinner candle light ho,
Tu Delecious har ek Bite ho,
Dono mein na kabhi fight ho,
Milne k baad dil delight ho...

Aisi apni Wife ho.......... .........

Ankhain uski jaisay....sunny Twilight ho!
Honton ko dekh ker lagay...jaisay coke diet ho
Jab saari pehn k niklay tu kya sight ho,
Aisa lagay jaisay switzerland ki flight ho,
Favourite colour white ho,
make-up thora light ho
Zulfain Dynamite hoon..
Basant mein jaisay ur rahi koi kite ho !

Aisi apni Wife ho.......... ........

Kaash yeh concept 100% right ho
agar aisi apni wife ho
tu kya haseen life ho
Batoon mein garmaish ho
har kisi ki yahi farmaish ho
kudrat ki bhi aazmaish ho
Defense ki rehaaish ho,
Kise ki bhi na look-a-like ho,


Aisi apni Wife ho.......... ........
Aisi apni Wife ho.......... ........


Click on Rep button if you like my Post


Boss


A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says:

"The parrot on the left costs 500 dollars".

"Why, does the parrot cost so much" asks the first man.

The owner says, "Well the parrot knows how to use a computer".

The man then asks about the next parrot to be told that this one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system.

Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot to be told that it costs 2,000 dollars. Needless to say this begs the question

"What can it do?"

To which the owner replies "To be honest, I have never seen it do a thing but the other two call him boss!".


this is how we thank our mother !!!


 This is how !!we thank our mother ! 
When you came into the world, she held you in her arms. You thanked her by wailing like a banshee.

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you. You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk. You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love. You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons. You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.

When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays. You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud.

When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school. You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING!"

When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball. You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor' s window.

When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream. You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for music lessons. You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old, she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastics to one birthday party after another. You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies.You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows. You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.Those teenage years -

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming.You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug.You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to driver her car.You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.Growing old and gray -

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus, carried your bags.You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone.You thanked her by saying, "It's none of your business."

When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future.You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be like you."

When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation.You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24, she met your fiancé and asked about your plans for the future.You thanked her by glaring and growling, "Muuhh-there, please!"

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you.You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby.You thanked her by telling her, "Things are different now."

When you were 40, she called to remind you of an relative's birthday.You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now."

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.And then, one day, she quietly moved. And

Everything you never did came crashing down like thunder. Let us take a moment of the time just to pay tribute/show appreciation to the SPECIAL person called MOTHER though some may not say it openly to their mother.

There's no substitute for her. Cherished every single moment. Though at times she may not be the best of friends, may not agree to our thoughts, she is still your mother!!!

She will be there for you...to listen to your woes, your bragging, your frustrations, etc.

Ask yourself. have you put aside enough time for her, to listen to her "blues" of working in the kitchen, her tiredness??? Be tactful, loving and still show her due respect though you may have a different view from her.

Quick Tips to Improve Self Confidence


Here are some quick tips to improve your Self Confidence. If we are committed to have a healthy self confidence there are many things you can do every day to boost your self confidence, each small steps that will help you to reach your goal. The good news is that self-esteem is not fixed and can be improved, try some of the steps below to boost your confidence and self-esteem.

1) Identify your successes. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.

2) Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.

3) Exercise and eat healthy. Exercise raises adrenaline and makes one feel happier and healthier. It is certainly an easy and effective way to boost your self-confidence.

4) Turn feelings of envy or jealousy into a desire to achieve. Stop wanting what others have just because they have it; seek things simply because you want them, whether anybody else has them or not.

5) When you're feeling superbly insecure, write down a list of things that are good about you. Then read the list back. You'd be surprised at what you can come up with.

6) Don't be afraid to push yourself a bit - a little bit of pressure can actually show just how good you are!

7) You can try taking a martial arts or fitness class/course (or both). This will help build confidence and strength.

8) Invest in some new clothing and donate some of your old clothing to send a message to yourself that you both look sharp and feel sharp.

9) Try to make yourself talk positively at all times. When you hear yourself saying you can't do something, stop and say you can. Unless you try, you will never know whether you are able to or not.

10) Don't get wrapped up in your mistakes and dwell on bad points; they can contrast your good points or even give you something to improve. There's no feeling like being good at something you were really bad at.

11) Don't confuse what you have with who you are. People degrade their self worth when comparing possessions.

12) Surround yourself with nurturing friends, not overly critical individuals who make you feel inadequate or insecure. This could do great harm and damage to your self confidence.


No food inflation in Parliament canteen

Recently I was going through a news article in The Times of India and I came across this article, which mentioned the rates of foods in our Parliament.Just go through the below link and also through the rates. I wonder whether the inflation and high prices of essential commodities is only for other citizens of country excluding the Ministers, MLAs, MPs and other Politicians who has anyways amassed huge money through corruption already. Time to wake up guys.


Parliament House Canteen Food Rates

Tea Re. 1

Soup Rs.5.50

Dal - one katori Rs.1.50

Veg thali (dal, subzi,4 chapatis, rice/pulao, curd and salad) Rs.12.50

Non-veg thali Rs.22

Curd rice Rs.11

Veg pulao Rs.8

Chicken biryani Rs.34

Fish curry and rice Rs.13

Rajma rice Rs.7

Tomato rice Rs.7

Fish fry Rs.17

Chicken curry Rs.20.50

Chicken Masala Rs.24.50

Butter chicken Rs.27

Chapati Re.1 a piece

One plate rice Rs.2

Dosa Rs.4

Kheer - one katori Rs.5.50

Fruit cake Rs.9.50

Fruit salad Rs.7




we dont mind paying in 100s for these.. 

"jaago re"

You and your boss


 
When you take a long time, you're slow; When your boss takes a long time, he or she's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy; When your boss doesn't do it, he or she's too busy.
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot. When your boss makes a mistake, he or she's only human.
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority. When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed. When your boss does it, he or she is being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude. When your boss skips a few rules, he or she is being original.
When you please your boss, you're apple polishing. When your boss pleases his boss, he or she is being co-operative.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around. When your boss is out of the office, he or she is on business.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick. When your boss is a day off sick, he or she must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview. When your boss applies for leave, it's because he or she is overworked



 

Expressing Love.............in a special way

  
A guy wanted to

express his unfathomable love to his sweetheart. So,

what did he do........? He gave chocolates to all the girls living in the
University student apartments and asked them to turn

their lights on or off at 8pm that night.
See the pic for the rest........ ...... Truly Breath taking ! You don't need to guess his

sweetheart's reaction.
Hundreds of students came over later to witness this

great piece of Art driven by the Greatest Emotion

known to Man - 'Love'.




 


try this gooogle tricks...

click on this link and comment did u liked it

Survey


 
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:


"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the shortage of food in rest of the world".
The survey was a huge failure..... ... Do you know WHY?


* In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant.
* In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant.
* In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant.
* In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant.
* In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant.
* In South America they didn't know what 'please' meant.
* And in the USA they didn't know what 'the rest of the world' meant.


Take care when you copy



A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the canons and laws of their order by hand.




He notices, however, that the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all subsequent copies.


The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.' He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monasterywhere the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.

Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.







The young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, 'We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!' His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is cryinguncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?'


With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, 'The word was,

'CELEBRATE!'

How to take care of your wife

  
In the world, one single rule applies to the men: Make the Woman happy. Do
something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are
subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry,
that's the way the game is played.


Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
-- You make the bed (+1)
-- You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
-- You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
-- You go out to buy her what she wants (+5)
-- In the rain (+8)
-- But return with Beer (-5)
-- You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
--You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
-- You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
-- You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
-- It's her pet (-10)



SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
-- You stay by her side the entire party (0)
-- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
-- Named Tina (-4)
-- Tina is a dancer (-10)


HER BIRTHDAY
-- You take her out to dinner (0)
-- You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
-- Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
-- And it's all-you-can- eat night (-3)
-- It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can- eat night, and your face is painted the
colors of your favorite team (-10)


A NIGHT OUT
-- You take her to a movie (+2)
-- You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
-- You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
-- You take her to a movie you like (-2)
-- It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
-- You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)



YOUR PHYSIQUE
--You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
-- You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
-- You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
-- You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)



ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
-- She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
-- You hesitate in responding (-10)
-- You reply, "Where?" (-35)
-- Any other response (-20)



COMMUNICATION
-- When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like
a concerned _____expression (0)
-- You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
-- You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
-- She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

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