Mohabbat

Mohabbat karke dekho to,
Mohabbat kya nahi karti,
Mohabbat khud bhi hoti hai,
Mohabbat khud hojaati hai,
Mohabbat khud banati hai,
Mohabbat khud bhi banti hai,
Mohabbat khud bhi andhi hai,
Mohabbat andha karti hai,
Mohabbat jhuk bhi sakti hai,
Mohabbat jhuka bhi deti hai,
Mohabbat khud bhi nafrat hai,
Mohabbat Pyaar bhi karti hai,
Mohabbat Pyaar hai Dil ka,
Mohabbat esaar bhi karti hai,
Mohabbat kaam hai dukh ka,
Mohabbat naam hai sukh hai,
Mohabbat naam hai is ka,
Mohabbat is hi ko kehte hain..!
Mohabbat karke dekho to,
Mohabbat kya nahi karti..!.!!. !!!!

mumbai = bombay

M_U_M_B_A_I & NOT BOMBAY must read
To all Mumbai Lover Friends...

Awesome! B_O_M_B_A_Y

· Bombay has no bombs and is a harbour not a bay.

· Churchgate has neither a church nor a gate. It is a railway station.

· There is no darkness in Andheri.

· Lalbaag is neither red nor a garden.

· No king ever stayed at Kings Circle.

· Nor did Queen Victoria stay at Victoria Terminus.

· Nor is there any princess at Princess Street.

· Lower Parel is at the same level as Parel.

· There are no marines or sailors at Marine Lines.

· The Mahalaxmi temple is at Haji Ali not at Mahalaxmi.

· There are no pigs traded at Dukar bazaar.

· Teen bati is a junction of 3 roads, not three lamps.

· Trams used to terminate at Kings circle not Dadar* Tram Terminus (Dadar T.T.).

· Breach Candy is not a sweetmeat market, but there is a Hospital.

· Safed Pool has the dirtiest and blackest water.

· You cannot buy coal at Kolsa street.

· There are no Iron smiths at Lohar chawl.

· There are no pot makers at Kumbhar wada.

· Lokhandwala complex is not an Iron and steel market.

· Null bazaar does not sell taps..

· You will not find ladyfingers at Bheendi Bazaar.

· Kalachowki does not have a black Police station.

· Hanging Gardens are not suspended.

· Mirchi Gully does not sell chillies.

· Figs do not grow in Anjir Wadi.

· Sitafals do not grow in Sitafal Wadi.

· Jackfruits do not grow at Fanaswadi.

· But it is true that you may get fleeced at Chor Bazaar!




AMCHI MUMBAI

A City where everything is possible, especially the impossible ..

Where telephone bills make a person ill,
Where a person cannot sleep without a pill.

Where carbon-dioxide is more than oxygen,
Where the road is considered to be a dustbin.

Where college canteens are full and classes empty,
Where Adam teasing is also making an entry.

Where a cycle reaches faster than a car,
Where everyone thinks himself to be a star.

Where sky scrapers overlook the slum,
Where houses collapse as the monsoon comes.

Where people first act and then think,
Where there is more water in the pen than ink.

Where the roads see-saw in monsoon,
Where the beggars become rich soon.

Where the roads are levelled when the minister arrives,

Where college admission means hard cash,
Where cement is frequently mixed with ash.





This is Mumbai my dear, But don't fear, just cheer, come to Mumbai every year!
THINGS TO PROVE YOU'RE A BOMBAYITE

1. You say "town " and expect everyone to know that this means south of Churchgate.

2. You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi', which only Bombayites can understand.

3. Your door has more than three locks.

4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.

5. Train timings ( 9.27 , 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.

6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.

7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.

8. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."

9. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay (REALLY TRUE)
10. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar B Road, Altamount Road .

11. Stock market quotes are the only other thing* besides cricket which you follow passionately.
12. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the " Bombay Times" supplement.. ..

13. You take fashion seriously. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

14. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.

15. You compare Bombay to New York 's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.

16. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
17. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.

18. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

19. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.

20. Being truly alone makes you nervous.

21. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.

22. Only in Bombay, you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken


Salaam Mumbai ......!!!!

Mood and the Heart .....!!

Mind and Mood can adversely affect the cardiovascular system..

Heart disease can be depressing literally. About 50 percent of hospitalized heart patients have some depressive symptoms, and upto 20 per cent develop major depression, and depression affects heart health.

Patients who are depressed at the time of hospitalization for heart conditions are two to five times more likely than average to die or to suffer further cardiovascular events such as heart attack, stroke, or severe chest pain in the following year.

Mind and mood can affect the cardiovascular system directly by creating a state of emergency readiness, in which stress hormone levels rise, blood vessels constrict and heartbeat speeds up. If a person is seriously depressed or anxious, the emergency response becomes constant, damaging the blood vessels and making the heart less sensitive to signals telling it to slow down or speed up as the body's demands change, reports the Harvard Mental Health Letter.

Research suggests that the type of antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) may benefit depressed heart patients and possibly reduce their risk for future heart problems.. Cardiac rehabilitation programs that sustain patients' morale and urge them to take better care of themselves may also help reduce the damage depression done to the heart.

Its hard to determine the precise cause and effect in the relationship between depression and heart disease. Symptoms may be similar, and the damage depression does to the cardiovascular system may trigger further depression. Still, the connection is real.. Cardiologists should ask their patients about stress and depression, and patients should not hesitate to bring up these subjects.

So take care and keep your Mind & Mood cool always

Some wayz to run well ur computer!!! :)

***PLZ TAKE TIME AND READ THESE INSTRUCTIONS FOR YOUR YOUR COMPUTERS FAREWELL***


1.) To decrease a system’s boot time and increase system performance, use the money you save by not buying defragmentation software — the built-in Windows defragmenter works just fine — and instead equip the computer with an Ultra-133 or Serial ATA hard drive with 8-MB cache buffer.

2.) If a PC has less than 512 MB of RAM, add more memory. This is a relatively inexpensive and easy upgrade that can dramatically improve system performance.

3.) Ensure that Windows XP is utilizing the NTFS file system. If you’re not sure, here’s how to check: First, double-click the My Computer icon, right-click on the C: Drive, then select Properties. Next, examine the File System type; if it says FAT32, then back-up any important data. Next, click Start, click Run, type CMD, and then click OK. At the prompt, type CONVERT C: /FS:NTFS and press the Enter key. This process may take a while; it’s important that the computer be uninterrupted and virus-free. The file system used by the bootable drive will be either FAT32 or NTFS. I highly recommend NTFS for its superior security, reliability, and efficiency with larger disk drives.

4.) Disable file indexing. The indexing service extracts information from documents and other files on the hard drive and creates a “searchable keyword index.” As you can imagine, this process can be quite taxing on any system.

The idea is that the user can search for a word, phrase, or property inside a document, should they have hundreds or thousands of documents and not know the file name of the document they want. Windows XP’s built-in search functionality can still perform these kinds of searches without the Indexing service. It just takes longer. The OS has to open each file at the time of the request to help find what the user is looking for.

Most people never need this feature of search. Those who do are typically in a large corporate environment where thousands of documents are located on at least one server. But if you’re a typical system builder, most of your clients are small and medium businesses. And if your clients have no need for this search feature, I recommend disabling it.

Here’s how: First, double-click the My Computer icon. Next, right-click on the C: Drive, then select Properties. Uncheck “Allow Indexing Service to index this disk for fast file searching.” Next, apply changes to “C: subfolders and files,” and click OK. If a warning or error message appears (such as “Access is denied”), click the Ignore All button.

5.) Update the PC’s video and motherboard chipset drivers. Also, update and configure the BIOS. For more information on how to configure your BIOS properly, see this article on my site.

6.) Empty the Windows Prefetch folder every three months or so. Windows XP can “prefetch” portions of data and applications that are used frequently. This makes processes appear to load faster when called upon by the user. That’s fine. But over time, the prefetch folder may become overloaded with references to files and applications no longer in use. When that happens, Windows XP is wasting time, and slowing system performance, by pre-loading them. Nothing critical is in this folder, and the entire contents are safe to delete.

7.) Once a month, run a disk cleanup. Here’s how: Double-click the My Computer icon. Then right-click on the C: drive and select Properties. Click the Disk Cleanup button — it’s just to the right of the Capacity pie graph — and delete all temporary files.

8.) In your Device Manager, double-click on the IDE ATA/ATAPI Controllers device, and ensure that DMA is enabled for each drive you have connected to the Primary and Secondary controller. Do this by double-clicking on Primary IDE Channel. Then click the Advanced Settings tab. Ensure the Transfer Mode is set to “DMA if available” for both Device 0 and Device 1. Then repeat this process with the Secondary IDE Channel.

9.) Upgrade the cabling. As hard-drive technology improves, the cabling requirements to achieve these performance boosts have become more stringent. Be sure to use 80-wire Ultra-133 cables on all of your IDE devices with the connectors properly assigned to the matching Master/Slave/Motherboard sockets. A single device must be at the end of the cable; connecting a single drive to the middle connector on a ribbon cable will cause signaling problems. With Ultra DMA hard drives, these signaling problems will prevent the drive from performing at its maximum potential. Also, because these cables inherently support “cable select,” the location of each drive on the cable is important. For these reasons, the cable is designed so drive positioning is explicitly clear.

10.) Remove all spyware from the computer. Use free programs such as AdAware by Lavasoft or SpyBot Search & Destroy. Once these programs are installed, be sure to check for and download any updates before starting your search. Anything either program finds can be safely removed. Any free software that requires spyware to run will no longer function once the spyware portion has been removed; if your customer really wants the program even though it contains spyware, simply reinstall it. For more information on removing Spyware visit this Web Pro News page.


11.) Remove any unnecessary programs and/or items from Windows Startup routine using the MSCONFIG utility. Here’s how: First, click Start, click Run, type MSCONFIG, and click OK. Click the StartUp tab, then uncheck any items you don’t want to start when Windows starts. Unsure what some items are? Visit the WinTasks Process Library. It contains known system processes, applications, as well as spyware references and explanations. Or quickly identify them by searching for the filenames using Google or another Web search engine.

12.) Remove any unnecessary or unused programs from the Add/Remove Programs section of the Control Panel.

13.) Turn off any and all unnecessary animations, and disable active desktop. In fact, for optimal performance, turn off all animations. Windows XP offers many different settings in this area. Here’s how to do it: First click on the System icon in the Control Panel. Next, click on the Advanced tab. Select the Settings button located under Performance. Feel free to play around with the options offered here, as nothing you can change will alter the reliability of the computer — only its responsiveness.

14.) If your customer is an advanced user who is comfortable editing their registry, try some of the performance registry tweaks offered at Tweak XP.

15.) Visit Microsoft’s Windows update site regularly, and download all updates labeled Critical. Download any optional updates at your discretion.

16.) Update the customer’s anti-virus software on a weekly, even daily, basis. Make sure they have only one anti-virus software package installed. Mixing anti-virus software is a sure way to spell disaster for performance and reliability.

17.) Make sure the customer has fewer than 500 type fonts installed on their computer. The more fonts they have, the slower the system will become. While Windows XP handles fonts much more efficiently than did the previous versions of Windows, too many fonts — that is, anything over 500 — will noticeably tax the system.

18.) Do not partition the hard drive. Windows XP’s NTFS file system runs more efficiently on one large partition. The data is no safer on a separate partition, and a reformat is never necessary to reinstall an operating system. The same excuses people offer for using partitions apply to using a folder instead. For example, instead of putting all your data on the D: drive, put it in a folder called “D drive.” You’ll achieve the same organizational benefits that a separate partition offers, but without the degradation in system performance. Also, your free space won’t be limited by the size of the partition; instead, it will be limited by the size of the entire hard drive. This means you won’t need to resize any partitions, ever. That task can be time-consuming and also can result in lost data.

19.) Check the system’s RAM to ensure it is operating properly. I recommend using a free program called MemTest86. The download will make a bootable CD or diskette (your choice), which will run 10 extensive tests on the PC’s memory automatically after you boot to the disk you created. Allow all tests to run until at least three passes of the 10 tests are completed. If the program encounters any errors, turn off and unplug the computer, remove a stick of memory (assuming you have more than one), and run the test again. Remember, bad memory cannot be repaired, but only replaced.

20.) If the PC has a CD or DVD recorder, check the drive manufacturer’s Web site for updated firmware. In some cases you’ll be able to upgrade the recorder to a faster speed. Best of all, it’s free.

21.) Disable unnecessary services. Windows XP loads a lot of services that your customer most likely does not need. To determine which services you can disable for your client, visit the Black Viper site for Windows XP configurations.

22.) If you’re sick of a single Windows Explorer window crashing and then taking the rest of your OS down with it, then follow this tip: open My Computer, click on Tools, then Folder Options. Now click on the View tab. Scroll down to “Launch folder windows in a separate process,” and enable this option. You’ll have to reboot your machine for this option to take effect.

23.) At least once a year, open the computer’s cases and blow out all the dust and debris. While you’re in there, check that all the fans are turning properly. Also inspect the motherboard capacitors for bulging or leaks

You Are A Blue Pearl

Head understands head and heart understands heart. The nose can only smell; eyes can only see; ears can only hear. Similarly, the heart can only feel while the head can only think. We try to put the heart in the head and the head in the heart and it doesn't seem to work. Your heart feels something is beautiful, and you can feel it. When head says something is beautiful, we cling on to the word; it's there in the mind, but we might not feel what we feel when the heart says the same thing. We repeat the word 'beautiful' in the head but it doesn't seem or feel beautiful the way it would have if it had come from the heart.

Let's talk about love. It's the same thing you talk too much about love, the word `love' gets stuck in the head, but somehow there no depth of feeling. That's because it's in the head, not in the heart. In silence, love emits, radiates. We experience ourselves in the things we love more. That is why, when we lose the things we love, we feel hurt; we feel unhappy. Suppose you love your piano very much and you hear that something has happened to your piano, something gets cut off in you. Or, if something happens to your car or your dog, you feel a loss. So you are not just living in your body, but also in that of the objects or people you love. But if you can expand this existence even more to cover the entirety, you will know that there is no loss and you are total.

You are a blue pearl. Blue is beautiful; blue is something that is big, vast and infinite. All that is immense and infinite in creation and that which has depth expresses itself in blue. The sky is blue, the ocean is blue. You are a blue pearl, in the sense that you can't be measured. You are so deep in your being. Though you are in the body, nobody can measure your being. The being in you is not just the blue infinity; it's a shining radiant infinity that is deep and immense. Blue pearl means that which is shining, that which is radiant, that which is infinite; yet, it seems to be finite.

When we start listening to our heart, then we know that all is one; and one God is in all. See, in our body we have so many cells and each cell has got its own life. Many cells are being born every day, many cells are dying but they do not know you. You know if something is wrong with one particular cell; you can feel it. Similarly, though we are all made up of small units of life, there is one life that covers and governs all the other lives.

We are all floating in an ocean of life; a big life. It is not just empty space all around us; it is lively big life. And in the big sea of life there, all shells are floating and each shell has got a little water in it which is not the water separate from the water in the sea. So, we come out of our shells and experience, "I am not just in the body, but I am expanded all over; everywhere, it's me there and it's me here. I see myself in everybody".

That is the essence of life!

the interview

Answers to the Seven Toughest Interview Questions :



There you sit, waiting to be ushered into your interview. Your suit is pressed, your shoes are shined and your resume is top notch. But, as the minutes tick past, you feel a mounting sense of doom as you anticipate the questions that will cause a deafening silence during the interview.

Want to avoid an interview disaster? Check out these tough interview questions and their suggested responses:


Q: "What are your weaknesses?"


"Don't take this literally and go into a detailed explanation of your weaknesses," says John Challenger, CEO of global outplacement consultancy Challenger, Gray & Christmas, Inc. He advises taking a potential weakness and putting a positive spin on it.

A: "I am very detail-oriented and in some industries that may not be a good fit. But for this accounting position, I think this trait truly will help me excel."



Q: "How would you solve this problem?"


Challenger says that these kinds of hypothetical questions can be risky. First of all, they may not like your answer; if they do like it, there's a chance they will steal it. That's what happened to June Sullivan when she interviewed for an activity director's position at a long-term care facility. When asked about marketing ideas, June laid out her entire plan. Well, she didn't get the job, but later recognized some of her strategies being used by the facility.

A: "I think you can increase product awareness by enacting some marketing strategies that could employ advertising, direct mail or media placements."


Q: "Why did you leave your last job?"


Again, Challenger suggests presenting everything in a positive light. An interview is not the time to dish the dirt on your previous employer.

A: "The company just wasn't a good fit for my innovative personality. But what I learned is that organizations have distinct personalities just like people do. Now I know to concentrate my job search on companies who value independent thinking and alternative methods."



Q: "Why do you want to work here?"


Questions like these require you to do your homework before the interview.

A: "I want to be a part of a global company that last year alone invested $1.4 million in research and development of eco-friendly industrial processes."


Q: "Tell me about yourself."


This is a chance for you to shine -- but not to tell your life history. Begin by listing your traits and accomplishments you feel are relevant for the position. Don't delve into personal information unless it relates to the position you're vying for.

A: "I am very creative and resourceful. I have been a sales manager for the past five years and used my creativity to devise unique incentives to keep the sales representatives motivated. Because of this my sales team earned numerous company awards."


Q: "Tell me about the worst boss you ever had."


Take the high road and don't give into the temptation to vent any past frustrations.

A: "While none of my past bosses were awful, there are some who taught me more than others did."



Q: "What are your goals?"


This is best answered by reiterating your objective statement on your resume. Keep your aspirations to be a vice president of marketing, own your own company or retire at 40 to yourself.

A: "I want to secure a civil engineering position with a national firm that concentrates on retail development. Ideally, I would like to work for a young company, such as this one, so I can get in on the ground floor and take advantage of all the opportunities a growing firm has to offer."

The Amazing Cucumber

You may find some of the information useful.



This information was in The New York Times several weeks ago as part of their "Spotlight on the Home" series that highlighted creative and fanciful ways to solve common problems.


1. Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3, Vitamin B5, Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2. Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber. Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3. Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower? Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance..

4. Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds? Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long. The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

5. Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool? Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite. Works great on wrinkles too!!!

6. Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache? Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free. Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

Why only Indians are re-born ?

The angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said 'I have to talk to you urgently. We have some Indians up here in heaven and they are causing problems. They're swinging on the pearly gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce and Gabana saris instead of their white robes, they are riding Mercedes' and BMWs instead of the chariots, and they're selling their halos to people for discounted prices. They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear, since they keep crouching down midway eating samosas and drinking chai. Some of them are even walking around with just one wing!'

The Lord said, 'Indians are Indians. Heaven is home to all my children. If you want to know about real problems, give Satan a call.'

Satan answered the phone, 'Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.' Satan returned to the phone, 'OK I'm back. What can I do for you?'

Gabriel replied, 'I just wanted to know what kind of problems you're having down there.'

Satan says, 'Hold on again. I need to check on something.'
After about 5 minutes Satan returns to the phone and said, 'I'm back. Now, what was the question?'

Gabriel said, 'What kind of problems are you having down there?'

Satan says, 'Man, I don't believe this! Hold on.'
This time Satan was gone at least 15 minutes. He returned and said, "I'm sorry Gabriel, I can't talk right now... These Indians are trying to install air conditioning and making hell a comfortable place to live in by putting out the fire. Moreover they are so tech savvy, they were trying to start a telephone connection between heaven and hell...I am having such a hard time controlling and dealing with them!! Some were trying to start a chai - pakora shop, which I had to stop...

As a clincher, Satan then said, "I am recommending to the Lord to send them back onto earth as soon as they arrive, as re-birth cases".
Cheers!

IPL AWARDS LIST

Dear All, (only those interested in ongoing IPL )
Later this week, the IPL awards will be handed out and, in keeping with the glitz and glamour and off-field antics that characterize this version of the game, it's got everyone in a tizzy. Normally, the names of winners are kept a closely guarded secret but with so many secrets tumbling out of the IPL closet, this one too has been leaked. Here is the jury, the categories and the winners.

IPL Awards Jury
Pranab Mukherjee, P. Chidambaram, INC (Indian News Channels), Lalu Prasad Yadav, Brinda Karat, Shobhaa De, Income Tax Department.
2010 IPL Award Winners
Most Promising Player:
Lalit Modi for making too many promises he couldn't keep.
Best IPL Debutante:
Shashi Tharoor who scored heavily without playing a match.
Most Powerful Hitter:
Sharad Pawar, as former BCCI boss he has final say on IPL's future.
Best Catch:
Deepika Padukone, by Royal Challengers and Siddharta Mallya in particular.
Best Stumping:
Lalit Modi by Shashi Tharoor.
Most Male Fan Following:
Cheerleaders.
Most Female Fan Following:
Lalit Modi (being chased for VIP passes).
Worst Match:
Shashi Tharoor and Sunanda Pushkar.
Best Match:
Nita Ambani and Sachin Tendulkar.
Costliest Dropped Catch:
Preity Zinta and Ness Wadia.
Costliest Match:
Ravi Shastri and Sunil Gavaskar.
Best Commentator:
Mandira Bedi (when she wasn't speaking).
Worst Commentator:
Danny Morrison (when he was speaking).
Most Consistent Performer:
SRK (whenever he knew the camera was on him).
Most Inconsistent Performer:
Yuvraj Singh (when the camera focused on him batting).
Most Dramatic Performance:
Katrina Kaif In IPL's Bangalore Royal Challengers Music Video.
Best New Cricketing Term:
Sweat Equity.
Best Expert Comment:
Lalu Yadav on his son: "Yadavs should not be carrying towels and water bottles."

What is his occupation?

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"

Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"

Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy murders people, steals from them, and drinks."

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and asked if there might be some logical explanation.

Billy's father said, "I'm actually an attorney. But how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

2 children about their parents...

An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.

"My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"

"Yes," said the Navy brat.

"My dad has built them."

Then the naval kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?"

"Yes."

"It's my dad who's killed it!"

Father now and then...

Today is one of the first Father's Days of our new millennium.
Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today;
but they did have a few advantages:


1.
In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English.

Today, fathers pray their children will speak English.


2.
In 1900, a father's horsepower meant his horses.

Today, it's the size of his minivan.


3.
In 1900, if a father put a roof over his family's head, he was a success.

Today, it takes a roof, deck, pool, and 4-car garage. And that's just the vacation home.


4.
In 1900, a father came home from work to find his wife and children at the supper table.

Today, a father comes home to a note: "Jimmy's at baseball, Cindy's at gymnastics, I'm at adult-Ed, Pizza in fridge."


5.
In 1900, fathers and sons would have heart-to-heart conversations while fishing in a stream.

Today, fathers pluck the headphones off their sons' ears and shout, "WHEN YOU HAVE A MINUTE.."


6.
In 1900, a happy meal was when Father shared funny stories around the table.

Today, a happy meal is what Dad buys at McDonald's.


7.
In 1900, when fathers entered the room, children often rose to attention.

Today, kids glance up and grunt, "Dad, you're invading my space."


8.
In 1900, fathers threatened their daughters suiters with shotguns if the girl came home late.

Today, fathers break the ice by saying, "So...how long have you had that earring?"


9.
In 1900, fathers pined for the old school, which meant a one-room, red-brick building.

Today, fathers pine for the old school, which means Dr J and Mickey Mantle.


10.
In 1900, fathers were never truly appreciated.

In 2001, fathers are never truly appreciated.

You Know You Grew Up in India in the 90s When…

1) You know the words to ‘In-pin-safety-pin’ and ‘akkad-bakkad’ by heart
2) Cricket is almost a religion for you, and you idolize at least one of Rahul Dravid/Sachin Tendulkar/Saurav Ganguly
3) You have read at least some Chacha Chaudhary or Tinkle comics
4) You’ve watched Shaktimaan on TV at least once in your life. And you can immediately recognize the character when you see him.
5) You have some ‘NRI’ relatives.
6) You couldn’t wait for it to be December so you could have the Toblerone chocolates your NRI relatives brought you
7) You watched Cartoon Network, and then the late night movies on TNT that came after Cartoon Network ended.
8) You watched corny dubbed versions of Small Wonder, Silver Spoon, and I Dream of Jeanie
9) You were THRILLED when McDonald’s opened in your neighborhood (or even eight kilometers away)
10) A visit to Pizza Hut used to mean a special treat
11) You have seen Kuch Kuch Hota Hai and Hum Aapke Hain Kaun at least 5 times each
12) You still remember the theme song of Hum Paanch. (Hum Paanch, Pam Pam Pam Paanch!)
13) You have played hours upon hour of running and catching, chor-police, lagori, saankli, ‘Doctor, doctor, help us!’, ‘Lock and key’
14) You have seen girls play ‘Amina Super Sina’ more times than you can remember. (And you still don’t know what it means!)
15) Dog ‘in’ the bone was your favorite co-ed game.
16) Much of your free time in school was spent playing UNO.
17) You collected trump cards of wrestlers, cricketers, and airplanes, and did not quite understand why your younger siblings were obsessed with Pokemon and the other Japanese trends that followed.
18) Your summer vacations were often synonymous with visiting your grandparents or cousins
19) Your parents, at some point, told you ‘Dark Room’ was a bad game to play. But you still loved playing it.
20) Bole mere lips, I love uncle Chips!
21) You know the song ‘Made in India’ by Alisha Chinai
22) You have seen many many many episodes of ‘Antakshari’ on Zee TV and know the only thing constant in the show is Annu Kapoor.
23) Many evenings have been spent watching little kids gyrate vulgarly on Boogie Woogie on Sony.
24) You were the coolest thing in class if you had a computer in your house while it was still the 90s.
25) You learnt LOGO and BASIC in school!
26) You couldn’t wait to start 4th standard so you could start writing with PENS instead of with pencils!
27) You often used terms and phrases like ‘two-say’, ‘same to you, back to you, with no returns’, and ‘shame shame, puppy shame, all the donkeys know your name.’
28) You most probably saw Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge at the cinema at least once. You also fantasized about singing songs in mustard fields as in the movie.
29) You have seen David Dhawan and Govinda movies and laughed at them.
31) You have said ‘haw’ or ‘yuck’ when you saw people kissing in English movies. (nowadays kids are used to it!)
30) Titanic was your FIRST favourite english movie.
31) You thought seeing English movies and speaking English made you the coolest thing ever.
32) You remember the Gujarat earthquake very clearly and could possibly tell everyone EXACTLY what you were doing when the earthquake occurred (yes, this happened in 2001, January 26, 2001, to be exact — but this group is about the things that Indian kids that GREW UP in the 90s remember and identify with).
33) Barbies for girls, and GI Joes for boys were the ultimate status symbols. You just wanted more more more and more. And how can I forget Hot Wheels, for both boys and girls?
34) You thought ‘imported’ clothes were definitely way better than ‘made in India’ clothes (never mind that a lot of clothes brought from overseas by NRI relatives were actually made in India, before ‘Made in China’ started appearing on EVERY existing thing)
35) "Jungle Jungle Baat Chali Hai Pata Chala Hai! Chaddi Pehen Ke Phool Khila Hai Phool Khila Hai!" You watched "The Jungle Book" every Sunday morning at 9.a.m" and just loved mowgli, bhalu and bagheera. A few years later, you watched Disney Hour, which had cartoons like Aladdin, Gummy Bears, Tail Spin, Uncle Scrooge!
36) At some point or other, cool was your favourite, and therefore, most overused word.
37) Captain Planet was your first introduction to environmental consciousness.
38) You have tried to convince people around you to not burst crackers on Diwali, and then gone straight back home and burst them yourself.
39) You have had endless packets of Parle Gluco G biscuits, and of Brittania Little Hearts biscuits.
40) You loved licking off the cream from the centre of Bourbon biscuits.
41) There were no Nike, Reebok, Adidas, Puma- Bata and Liberty was the way to go for your sports shoes.
42) You have probably consumed more Frooti in your lifetime than there is oil in Iraq.
43) You watched Baywatch on Star World when nobody was home even though (or because) your parents said you shouldn’t watch it.
44) You bought packets of potato chips for the specific purpose of collecting Tazos. And you had Tazos depicting everyone from Confucius to Daffy Duck to Daffy Duck dressed as Confucius.
45) For the longest time, the Maruti 800, the Premier Padmini, THE Fiat, and THE Ambassador were the only cars you saw on the road, and the Contessa was cool because it was bigger.
46) You would literally jump up in excitement if you ever chanced upon an imported car (Oh my gosh, is that really a MERCEDES?)!
47) You spent a good part of 1998 drooling over the Hyundai Santro and the Daewoo Matiz , debating which one was better.
48) You used to Fuzen gum. You also chewed Big (big) Babool and/or Boom Boom Boomer chewing gum. They were bright pink and disgusting tasting, but you loved them for the temporary tattoos.
49) Talking of temporary tattoos, you sometimes had contests with your classmates about who had more tattoos on their arm, leg, knee, hand, forehead, wherever.
50) You thought Mario and Contra were the coolest things ever invented, especially if you were a boy.
51) You knew that having the latest Hero or Atlas bicycle would make you the coolest kid on the block.
52) You can imitate Sushmita Sen’s winning gasp to perfection.
53) You have, at some point of time, worn GAP clothes (real or fake) like SRK in KKHH.
54) Seemingly senseless acronyms like SRK, DDLJ, DTPH, KKHH actually make sense to you..
55) You have at some point debated who was more beautiful- Aishwarya or Sushmita.
56) Baskin Robbins ice-cream was THE thing to have!
57) You know what Campa Cola is. And you also knew that Coca Cola was THE drink.
58) You would watch WWF keenly every evening/afternoon and loved Bret Hart "Hitman"! really thought Undertaker had seven lives and he made an “actual” appearance in the Akshay Kumar- starrer Khiladiyon ka Khiladi.
59) When all backpacks (or ’schoolbags’) and water bottles and tiffin boxes had strange cartoon characters that were hybrid versions of seven or eight different characters, and you still bought them, because a green man wih a water pistol, boots, a jet-pack, Johnny bravo hair, a rajasthani mustache, gloves, and underwear (long johns) over his pants, called ‘Mr. X’ was OBVIOUSLY a status symbol.
60) You remember the Nirma tikia jingle.
61) You remember the Nirma girl.
62) You remember the ‘doodh doodh piyo glass full doodh’ ad and also the ‘laal kaala peela, gulabi hara neela classic hai badia bristles wala’ and 'roz khao ande' ads.
63) You grew up reading, if you read at all, some or all of Nancy Drews, Enid Blyton books, Hardy Boys, Babysitters Club, Animorphs, Goosebumps, Sweet Valley series, Judy Blumes, and Tintin, or Archie comics. Because naturally, reading foreign authors made you much cooler than reading Tinkle.
64) Towards the late 90s (1998-99) at least some of us started our Harry Potter obsessions!
65) You absolutely HAD to go to Essel World if you were with cousins! “Essel World mein rahoonga main, ghar nahin nahin jaaonga main!” (I never went but always dreamed of going there!)
66) You watched the Bournvita Quiz contest on TV pretty religiously. The smarter ones amongst you actually took part in it and had your entire school and your entire extended families watch you on it!
67) Maggi 2 Minute Noodles = ultimate snack (and tiffin, lunch, dinner)!
68) If you grew up in the early 90s, you recall the nation’s obsession with Mahabharata on TV
69) In the later 90s, you religiously followed Hip Hip Hooray on Zee. Maybe Just Mohabbat on Sony too
70) You remember parzan dastur sayin "JALEBI!!!!" in the Dhara Ad
71) You eagerly awaited Friendship Day, so you could give friendship bands to all your friends, and get bands from them in return. Then, of course, those with the most bands loved to show them off.
72) Backstreet Boys' "Quit Playing Games" was one of the first english songs that you LOVED!
73) Andaz Apna Apna is and most probably will always be your favourite comedy flick!! "Aila Jhakaas!!!"
74) This list made you smile.

And I miss that age, it was sooo awesome!